I Stand Alone

Today was nice. Although I was with my family, I really just spent the day with my grandmother, holding her hand and helping her walk around and stuff. It was nice. I don’t get to spend that much time with her and every time I see her the first thing she says to me is how much she misses me. Hurts a bit to not be there and help her like I used to but, she still loves me dearly and I love her too. 

She does provide great perspective on life though. I like that word these days, perspective. Anyway, as we were walking around the Intrepid and seeing all the planes and reading about everything, my grandmother way telling me about being home during the WWII. She was born in 1931, so she was still pretty young while everything was going on but, she remembered most of it. The Naval ships in the harbor, the submarines sinking one of the ships, the blackouts, and the curfews. One of the things she remembers more vividly than everything else was how hard it was to live back then. Food shortages, people not having money, just surviving was hard. It’s just interesting hearing it from someone who lived it and how that affected her and how she grew from that. 

Perspective is an interesting thing to have. I’ve had a fairly easy life and comfortable upbringing for the most part, but its always good to hear first hand and from family no less it wasn’t always like that. Keeps you grounded. I like being grounded. 

My Grandmother

I miss my grandmother a lot. She’s been gone since November, and isn’t coming back until after Easter which sucks. For many people in my family (if not my entire family) my Grandmother is kind of a big deal. When she ended up in the hospital a few years back the day she returned from Canada, pretty much the entire family knew within the day that she was in the hospital. I have a pretty large family spanning literally the globe, so that says a lot. 

Either way, she’s really more of a parent for me than my actual parents. Aside from the money i get from them and them paying for school and such, there really isn’t much in the way of a traditional parent - child relationship. My grandmother for all intensive purposes raised me, and continues to be that person for me. I was raised back in the islands (St.Lucia), and came back to the states when i was 7, and she raised me, along with my cousin who’s mother died when he was younger. (No clue what happened to his father) So for both of us we’re the closest with her by far, and we’re her favorites no questions asked. So we miss her a lot. I miss her a lot. 

I miss the cooking probably the most aside from just her presence. Grandmothers cooking is always the best. Sure there’s other people in the family that could cook (my mother seems to be the best cook out of all her kids), but its just not the same. That old time flair you get from the matriarchs of the family just isn’t there. The tried and true recipes that have been perfected over the years, done without measuring, and just comes out amazing all the time. I miss that. 

Every time I come out to my parents house I always say i’m gonna do work and i bring stuff for me to do, assignments and what have you. It hardly ever gets done..ever!

Woke up this morning and my grandmother had made me rice pudding because I wanted that last night so she made it today. Not the nasty stuff they sell at the store either, its baked and its delicious. Had some of that and did a few other things for her before I took a shower. Then she wanted me to help her make a cake so we did and its gonna be fantastic. Had to measure all the flour and sugar and stuff for her, and grease the pans and all that good jazz. And she’s super happy when I come out here every couple weeks or whatever it is because she misses me a lot. And i’ve always helped her do things and taken her to dr’s appointments and wherever she needed to go for the most part while I lived out here. So she misses me and I miss her too. When I’m in the city I’m never home, so take out and restaurants and frozen food and sandwiches from the store is my life(NY keeps me well fed..hella unhealthy but well fed). So I miss the home cooked food and just having her around. She’s always taken care of me and looked out for me, so I enjoy her company when I come visit. I heart my grandmother. My little cousin who’s 6 even did dishes with me after we made the cakes. Went and got a little stool and everything. It was cute.

Soo spending time with my grandmother > doing work for school.

No fucks given!

Sidenote: my jeans came out fantastic! The shrink was spot on. Length is perfect and still can get a nice cuff going. And the waist fits like a glove. Very happy with how they came out.